It was my second day with my achiever and my first day in his classroom. I sat beside him as he began doing his homework while eating his snack. “Ryan*,” I said. “I noticed that when it’s snack time you always drink all of your juice first and then you eat your snack.” He looked up from his work, turned to me and smiled as if I had revealed a secret about his actions. This was a powerful moment for me as a mentor, as Ryan’s* mentor. I was present for something that only a caregiver may notice, in a setting where at teacher may not. I am the seal between the cracks. I deeply felt the importance of my mentoring role at Friends of the Children-Boston. I think that moment assured him that I was and am here just for him. When Ryan* finished his snack he picked at the crackers stuck in his teeth. I said, “If you save just a sip of juice until your done eating, you’ll have something to wash the food down with.” His face expressed that my idea was a good one. “Okay.” He said.

Hello all!

Welcome to an exciting new year of programming here at Friends-Boston!   It is with great pride that I introduce myself as the new Executive Director here at Friends-Boston.  I joined the Friends family in June and thus far I have been blown away by the dedication and hard work of Mentors, Clinical Program Managers, Staff and partners.  We are poised to make some impressive strides and changes this year.

 We kicked the year off with an amazing event sponsored by Cradles to Crayons where Achievers and their siblings received a free backpack filled with new school supplies:  necessary ingredients to starting school off on the right foot.  Our Mentor trainings were led by our incredible team of Program Managers at the Dudley office last month.  This year’s group of mentors is undoubtedly a strong and motivated one and I am certain they are going to produce solid results for our Achievers.

This year marks a unique transition for us and we are excited to see the year start off with a bang.  This fall we will start implementing a newly fashioned Adolescent Program by opening our teen center located in the loft at our Jamaica Plain office.  Nineteen Achievers and seven dedicated Mentors will participate in the program. Teens can drop into the center Tuesdays and Thursdays for homework help, structured group activities, and sponsored talks and discussions.

Last year’s statistics serve as a motivator to continue the important work we do here at Friends-Boston. The hard work that each layer of the organization puts in is directly reflected in the immense success of our Achievers.

• 99% of Achievers progressed on time to the next grade
• 92% of Achievers finished the school year with an A, B or C in English Language Arts
• 86% of Achievers finished the school year with an A, B or C in Math
• 85% of Achievers attended school regularly

We are geared up to continue our mission of working to create generational change in our communities.  Our blog will serve as a great outlet for Mentors, Clinical Program Managers, Staff and others to express and communicate the amazing work we are doing.  Tune in each month to check out the newest posts and news from Friends-Boston!

Sincerely,

Juma Crawford, Executive Director

As a student at American University that is famous for its international service and public affairs programs, my major in Education is definitely out of the norm. At American University, and most universities in the United States, majoring in Education is seen as a soft option. We are viewed as people who have tried to major in other areas and have failed, eventually falling back on Education so we would have some major by the end of our very expensive four years.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. I knew that I wanted to major in Education by the time I was fifteen years old after I had begun teaching at my karate school and surprised myself by not only being a good teacher but also loving it. At that time I knew teaching was my calling. I have yet to meet another Education major who does not feel the same way. Education majors are dedicated to becoming the best teachers, educators and mentors they can be. Teaching is their passion and it has to be. On average teachers and educators are paid a small percent of what physics, mathematics and business majors will make. Education majors do not major for the money, we do it because it is our calling.

Looking at education and mentorship as a calling is exactly what attracted me to Friends of the Children–Boston. The Friends–Boston staff has decided to go into a field that continually puts up barriers. Plenty of people have told them that what they are doing is not going to work, that they should not be involved in a non-profit because of the small paycheck. Friends of the Children-Boston is constantly struggling to support what the organization believes are the most important assets the education system has: the students and their families.

What I have learned at Friends-Boston is that non-profits can only succeed if the people who make up their program are driven by a belief that what they are doing is right and not by monetary gain. The staff, mentors, and interns who make up this organization are people whose main goal is to make a better life for high-risk children in Greater Boston. I am honored and excited to be a part of such an amazing and inspirational program and look forward to watching Friends of the Children-Boston grow in the future.

]]> http://friendsboston.wordpress.com/2011/09/07/see-it-as-a-calling/feed/ 0 friendsboston 100_0540 http://friendsboston.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/giving-back-to-the-community/ http://friendsboston.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/giving-back-to-the-community/#comments Mon, 08 Aug 2011 12:27:11 +0000 friendsboston http://friendsboston.wordpress.com/?p=571 Continue reading →]]> Posted by Christina Jurasek, Intern

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.” – Maya Angelou

As a criminal justice major in college, I felt like I had a catcher’s mitt on both hands. The left mitt represented the criminals and the right represented the justice system. During my four years of college and a year into my graduate program at Northeastern University, my education has followed a very straight and narrow path focusing on the criminals that have already been involved in the justice system at least once. While I have decided to devote my life to this field, my true passion lies within juvenile justice.

I found my passion for juvenile justice during my junior year of college at Sacred Heart University in a Juvenile Justice class taught by a professor who was able to convey his own passion and heightened my interest in the topic. I learned what happens to juveniles when they are involved in the justice system, the theories that attempt to explain why children and adolescents get involved in crime and the different options for rehabilitation after they do. I kept wondering if we know why children are at-risk, then why don’t we learn about how to intervene before they become involved in the justice system?

While I was doing research for one of my papers last semester, I came across the Friends of the Children-Boston website. I was so intrigued by the mission statement that I completely lost sight of the research I was supposed to be doing and ended up going through the entire website, clicking on every link and examining every picture. “This is unbelievable,” I thought to myself, and before I knew it, I was sitting on the orange line on my way to visit the Friends-Boston office.

On my first day, I was very intimidated. I realized that I had no idea how a non-profit organization functioned, nor did I have any background in social work, the expertise that Friends-Boston harnesses for its long-term mentoring program. However, as the weeks have passed, I have learned more by just being in the office every week than I have in any single class I have taken in my graduate program. I have learned about program development, grant writing and research, and the importance of thank you notes, but the most important lesson that I have taken away from my time with the organization is about the effect a long-term, innovative mentoring program like Friends-Boston’s can have on the lives of the children in our community.

Growing up in the suburbs in a middle class family, my biggest worry was whether I had enough money to get a cookie at lunch. I always knew that not everyone was fortunate enough to grow up the way I did and that for some families it was a real struggle to get by each day, but most of what I knew came from T.V. and books. Through my experience here, I have been able to get an in depth look at the lives of at-risk youth in underserved communities and what a difference organizations like Friends-Boston can make in their lives. The foundation that this organization is built on and the impact that it has are truly amazing and enlightening. I feel so fortunate to be apart of the Friends-Boston vision and I hope that my experience here allows me to take off my two catching mitts so I can throw something back to the community.

On June 30, 2011, Friends-Boston had its annual Summer Celebration at College Bound Dorchester, which I helped plan and organize. This was my first opportunity to work with the Achievers directly and to help facilitate a fun event for them and their families.

On the afternoon of June 30^th I did not know what to expect. As I was commuting to the venue, I began to feel anxious because I wanted to finally get the Summer Celebration underway. My fellow colleagues and I began to set up beforehand, preparing for the arrival of our expected guests. As the Achievers and their families arrived, I began to relax and helped select the music at the beginning of the event. I started the evening off by playing the Cha Cha Slide and dancing with the Achievers. The energy from the guests was incredible! After a while, Achievers started coming up to me to request songs like the Cat Daddy or Thriller. As the time for the Talent Show neared, the Achievers who signed up to perform appeared to be really enthusiastic, asking if their siblings could perform as well. Adkeem Jackson, a Friends-Boston Program Manager and the evening’s designated MC, along with an energetic Achiever led the fun program. As I looked around the room and felt all the energy that was there, I realized what Friends-Boston means to every single child and their family.

What appealed to me the most that day was the interaction the Achievers had with their Friends-Boston Program Managers, who support them year after year. It was all smiles, hugs and love. Coming from a single-mother household myself, and growing up in the same high-risk communities as the Achievers, it was gratifying to see the difference this organization makes in our Achievers’ every day lives. I am happy I was part of the Summer Celebration and I look forward to planning and organizing more events for our Achievers in the future!

To give you an idea of the children, families, and communities Friends-Boston serves and how we make an impact, I would like to tell you a true story about one of my Achievers.

Josiah* is an intelligent and fun loving 10-year-old boy from Mattapan. He is the youngest of seven children. He loves reading and drawing anime comics. He is also very athletic and loves basketball, baseball, and football. He was selected for Friends-Boston in the 1^st grade and is currently in the 5^th grade. He was selected because of the multitude of risk factors he faced, ongoing academic struggles, unstable housing, and a desperate need to develop social skills.

In 1^st grade, Josiah was suspended from school a number of times before eventually being expelled. He also faced a very challenging situation at home. At times, the conditions were deemed as unacceptable and he was removed from the home by DCF and placed into foster care. His single mother faced very severe issues with substance abuse and had a very hard time providing adequate shelter and food for her children.

This instability affected Josiah in many ways. He often arrived to school late and with the many issues he faced at home, it was very hard for him to focus on his school work.

Over the years, I have worked with him to ensure he gets the consistent support and encouragement he needs to reach his full potential. I have supported him to develop social skills, focus, and also created opportunities for success to support his confidence.

I have advocated for Josiah at school and helped his mother secure better housing along with family counseling services as well. Recently, I helped Josiah get enrolled in a basketball league and an after school tutoring program for reading, writing, and math. I also assisted his mother in applying to a charter school for next year and I am very pleased to say, he has been accepted and will be attending starting in the fall.

 As I look back to where Josiah was when he first started in the program, I can see the tremendous impact that the long-term comprehensive support of Friends-Boston has had on him and his family. Josiah’s grades have drastically improved and he has been placed into advanced classes at school for the remainder of this school year. In addition, he is back at home with his mother as his family now has a safer and more stable living situation.

Josiah’s story is a true testament to the power of the consistent long-term support we provide here at Friends-Boston.  A heartfelt thank you to our friends, donors, volunteers and supporters for sharing our belief in the potential of all children!

*Name changed to maintain confidentiality

Sarah is a mentor serving with Friends-Boston this year. The organization’s mentors are students pursuing a degree in social work who apply their training and expertise to supporting the vulnerable children the organization serves, who we call Achievers. Mentors spend 6-8 hours one on one with each Achiever every week, helping them to develop the academic and social and emotional skills they need to succeed.

Because change is a gradual process, Friends-Boston matches Achievers with mentors each year for 12 years from first grade through high school graduation to make a tangible impact in their lives.  Sarah reflects on her time as a mentor at Friends-Boston and what she has learned from her unique experience with her Achiever:  the importance of making this long-term commitment and the knowledge that even when it’s difficult to see, she is making a difference.

                As my year of mentoring comes to an end, I began to wonder what advice I would give future Friends-Boston mentors if I happen to see a familiar blue and white t-shirt on the train or in the grocery store in the coming months. While I have plenty of little pieces of advice that may help, such as forgetting a snack and a juice box is one of the most dire mistakes you could make on an outing, I’ve found I can summarize my advice into three categories: Patience, Persistence, and Perspective.

                Patience. I have not always been able to tell if I’m making a difference with my 11-year-old Achiever, Jane*, this year. Because she has experienced disappointments with people in her life who had let her down, she tested my commitment to her from our very first outing. When I first started this relationship, I often wondered why that was the case. Was I not doing something correctly? What was the magic mentoring skill I was lacking? I realized that change doesn’t happen overnight. And sometimes it doesn’t happen over a year. Yet, I am proud of the patience Jane and I have maintained and I know it has made a difference for both of us. New mentors: when mentoring presents you with challenges, take a deep breath. Patience will guide you, and it will pay off.

                Persistence. Throughout the year, I continued to show up like clockwork in Jane’s 5^th grade classroom every Tuesday afternoon. I wasn’t sure if my being there made a difference to her until two weeks ago when Jane approached me in the classroom and asked me to help her with a math problem. This may not seem like a big deal, but if I hadn’t shown up persistently each week just in case she needed help, how could she ever feel comfortable asking for it?

                Perspective. Finally, new mentors, as you reach the end of your own internship, I am sure many of you will feel that you haven’t done enough. I know that mentoring is a long-term process and I am starting to think it’s all about perspective. As challenging as our work with Achievers is, if an outing of ours needs to be rescheduled because of a snow day or emergency, I always get a text message from Jane late that night that says she is unhappy we couldn’t hang out. See? It’s all about perspective.

*Name changed to maintain confidentiality

Once social change begins, it cannot be reversed. You cannot un-educate the person who has learned to read. You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride. You cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore. We have seen the future, and the future is ours.

- Cesar Chavez

“Oh my GOSHHHHH, this looks like the future! Look at this bench; it’s so beautiful, and so perfect.” She ran to a near-by bench and ran her finger along the seat covered with rain drops, obviously inspecting the quality and craftsmanship needed to build a masterpiece. I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re right! This could be the future,” I said.

We just stepped onto the campus of Simmons College.

Even though my eight-year-old Achiever was talking about the futuristic, glass paneled buildings we have on campus, I couldn’t help but realize that this “future” is actually her future! This was the perfect opportunity to teach her about what college is all about. I had planned to have a conversation while walking around campus about all the amazing aspects of going to college. We spent some time in the cafeteria where we got to enjoy pizza while we did homework together. We talked about how homework and good grades were the number one way into the college of her dreams. She thought long and hard about this. Then she began to ask me questions like rapid-fire:

“Can I go to college when I’m 11?”

“Do they feed you lunch?”

“Do you have your own desk?”

“Do you have a lot of books to read?”

“Can you take your shoes off at this school?”

“Do you sleep here?”

“Do they teach math here?”

As I answered all of her questions, I couldn’t help but think about what this would have been like for me as a child growing up. Did I have the same questions about college? Did I even visit a college before high school? That is why special outings in the community with Achievers are so important. They are given the opportunities to discover and learn about so many different things that will affect them in one way or another throughout their lives.

Seeing Simmons College through the eyes of an eight-year-old made everything look different. I never noticed how futuristic the buildings actually were. I never thought about the ability I had to take my shoes off in class or not wait until 12:15 to go eat lunch!  It was refreshing to know that I am beginning to instill the excitement of higher learning in a child so young. Every time I walk onto campus now, I take a long look at the buildings. It reminds me that anything can be our future if we want it to be!

Karyn is a mentor serving with Friends-Boston this year.  Friends-Boston mentors are students pursuing a degree in social work who apply their training and expertise to supporting the children the organization serves, who we call Achievers.  They spend 6-8 hours one on one with each Achiever every week, helping them to develop the academic and social and emotional skills they need to succeed.

My time at Friends-Boston has been incomparable to anything else I have experienced. As a social work student at Boston University I get to spend time with two remarkable young men, both of who have been in the program for at least a year. I have learned so many things about both of them on a personal and academic level.

One thing that truly has stuck with me, which I learned from one of my Achievers, is not to be scared to ask for help.  Jerome* is a second-grade student who loves to learn and puts an unparalleled amount of effort into his learning experiences, but he also struggles a great deal.  Without ever getting angry or giving up, he continues to try to do the best that he can. At times, however, he just simply doesn’t get it. This doesn’t immobilize him or hinder the completion of his assignments because he asks for help. The simple task of asking for help is so difficult for many of us to do, especially as adults. Jerome has taught me to practice what I preach and to admit that “I don’t understand and I need some help.”  

This approach has already proven beneficial to me as I have allowed myself to let go of the internalized notion I have held that adults are supposed to know what to do in any situation, and I have asked for help.  Because of Jerome, I have become a more competent student, social worker and person, and I am grateful that I have had this experience to learn from my Achievers.

*Name changed to maintain confidentiality

Jess is a mentor serving with Friends-Boston this year.  Friends-Boston mentors are students pursuing a degree in social work who apply their training and expertise to supporting the children the organization serves, who we call Achievers.  They spend 6-8 hours one on one with each Achiever every week, helping them to develop the academic and social and emotional skills they need to succeed.

When I started the Master of Social Work program at Simmons College, I had very specific goals (and perhaps very narrow) in mind for my career.  Adolescents and young adults have been a passion of mine since I was a teenager myself and work with these age groups tends to settle nicely into my “wheelhouse.”  When I was accepted to come on as a mentor at Friends-Boston, I knew it was going to be a challenging year.  While at times it certainly has been, I will ultimately be walking away with a very significant lesson for my career and for life in general: whenever possible, celebrate joy and stay in the moment.

Oftentimes in the helping professions, we are faced with clients who are coping with extremely serious issues.  During these moments of crisis, it is certainly appropriate to respond in a sort of subdued manner and with a sense of gravity.  However, in the past, I think it has been my tendency to approach all clinical interactions with a similar gravity and to place a great deal of meaning into every word uttered.  At Friends-Boston, I realized that this way of thinking was not sustainable, considering that my Achievers do not respond to this approach and that it requires excessive amounts of energy to maintain an air of seriousness.

As the year has progressed, I now see that I am gaining just as much from my Achievers as I hope they are from me.  Most importantly, I am l learning how to stay in the moment and the pure joy that can result from building a snowperson for the first time, driving trucks around the office for an hour, or guessing the right word during a game of hangman.  Since the relationship is ultimately what our work is all about, being fully present in these moments can make anything clinical.  These interactions provide more information than a two inch-wide file could and more significantly, they provide the healing power of joy and the opportunity to just be a kid.